The Frat House

One of our after work duties involves "Closing Sheds", which means you go around to a handful of small barns/sheds and slowly round up the appropriate animals into the shed and then count them all in order to insure that everyone's in safely for the night.  This activity includes herding in chickens, ducks, roosters, and turkeys.  It's always an entertaining adventure. One shed in particular always proves to be a particularly exciting event every night that you visit it.  This past Sunday proved to be no different.  I deemed this shed, "The Frat House"...

In this particular shed, all of the ducks and roosters are male.  Testosterone flows throughout this shed like cheap beer at a field party.  The boys are rude, rowdy, and unpredictable. 

On this particular Sunday evening, I ran into the usual characters...

Caesar, the rooster...

The Muscovy Ducks...

And Dana, the Rooster (sorry about the blurry portrait)...

These two in particular, though... Sanpan and Pontoon... these two on this beautiful Sunday evening were particularly ungentlemanly...

Typically, whilst closing The Frat House, one gets hissed at and lunged at, mocked, and bullied.  Occasionally there will be a quick nip or two, which may or may not leave a tiny bruise.  The nipping and biting doesn't hurt much; it feels more like an obnoxious pinch. However, when the boys are feeling especially rowdy and the nips plentiful, the persistent pecking and biting feels more like an invitation for a throw-down-gather-a-crowd-fight instead of a nervous request for you to back off.  

At first upon feeling Pontoon nipping at my pajama pant and boot, I simply ignored him (which normally works).  Then, as the bites never ceased, I gently began pushing, ever so slightly, to encourage him to back off.  His good buddy Sanpan did NOT like this however, and as I was working on achieving some much needed personal space from Pontoon, Sanpan decided to fly in and attack my other leg, catching his claws into my pajama pants, and then, while flapping excitedly, he began pulling them down.  Mortified, I quickly grabbed my pants and called for Amy, one of the shelter interns and my room-mate, to come help.  Amy, wearing shorts and incapable of helping much in fear of she herself being harassed, then began straddling the fence over trying to figure out a way to jump in without leaving scarred (mentally or physically) herself.

In the meantime, I was still struggling to keep my pants on.  On my right I fought off the persistent nibbler and on my left flapping wings and the dude that was trying to pull my pants off.  At this point Sanpan, now caught and tangled in my pajama pants, became paralyzed like a drunken idiot who got too sloppy and thus began hanging, upside down, still dragging my pants down with him.  

So, my first thought, as I clutched my pants desperately, was "Ok, drop the pants and run".

Luckily for Amy though, I decided to grow a pair and handle my business.  While enduring the incessant nibbling and biting on one side, I slowly released Sanpan's claws from the other side and freed him from his drunken stupor and sloppy attempt at getting me out of my pants.  Then, as any girl would do, I quickly gathered my wits about me and Amy and I ran out quickly. There may or may not have been a squeal or two involved.

Last night it happened again.  Apparently I am the Frat House Slut.

Happy Wednesday ya'll.